Happy New Year Everyone! I canít tell you how awesome it has been receiving the messages of support from people all over the world. The beautiful e-mails and blog comments have brought me tears of joy and an overwhelming feeling of inspiration. Iíd like to say to all the wonderful people that sent messages to Facebook asking to be added that I am going to start a different FB page so I can be friends with all of you. The one I have now is basically for family, but Iíve posted some new photos on the website. You can also follow me on Twitter.
I must say that 2012 started out very well because I lost another pound (514 Lbs.) I know itís not much but itís a start. I have gotten so many great ideas and such helpful information from people about changing my lifestyle. It is very encouraging to hear from individuals who are going through something similar. I would also like to thank all the nice folks who said such great things about my children. Jacqueline and Devin entertained me over the holidays when they performed all the songs from Phantom of the Opera. Iíd love to get their performance on video so I can share it with you.
Anyway, I felt pretty good writing some of my life story down, so I thought I would continue to share some of my childhood memories. Itís pretty funny to think about it now, but before I was born my mother actually thought she had a tumor in her belly. She went to the doctor and it turned out that tumor was me. For the most part, my childhood was uneventful.
My mother spent all of her days as a homemaker, always doting on her kids. I was raised with my brother Don and for a short time with my brother David. My brother, Dan was out of the house by the time I was five years old (there is a 16 year age difference.) Things were pretty normal when I was a kid; my mom would plan big family gatherings, picnics, parties, dinners...food, food, and more food. Holidays were awesome. My mom did Christmas up in a very big way, my brothers and I got about 20 presents eachÖÖ..and there was a lot of food. Easter she made bunny cakes. There was always homemade candy and cookies for each holiday. When people would see me overeating they would say to my mom, ďMaybe you should stop her from eating so much.Ē My mother would get defensive and say, ďNo! Let her eat what she wants.Ē
When I was about five, my parents decided to take Don and me on a California road trip to visit friends and family. The trip was to last about 2 weeks and my brother David stayed home to keep an eye on things. After a week-long car ride, we arrived on the west coast where police were waiting for us at our destination. You have to keep in mind that there were no cell phones at that time. My parents sent me out to the backyard so they could speak with the police officers. While I was outside, a girl from next door saw me through the fence and invited me over. I forget her name, but she had this very large swimming pool and asked me if Iíd like to take a dip. I told her I didnít have a bathing suit, so she offered me one of hers. I held her suit in my hands as I realized that I didnít know how to swim and this pool looked very deep. As she was telling me to put the suit on and dive in I heard my mother calling me. I was relieved because I was afraid of the water and this was a perfect excuse to leave. When I told her I had to see what my mom wanted she asked, ďwhy does your mom sound so strange?' I said, ďWell my dad was sick on the drive out here, maybe sheís worried about him.Ē I had this feeling something was very wrong and didnít want to get into it with a girl I had just met. I went next door and my father asked me to sit down. It sounded real serious and I was scared to death. He told me that my brother David had passed away...that he had drowned. I didn't really understand what he just told me, I guess I was in shock. I was thinking how I could have drowned in the pool next door. The next day we headed back home to Ohio. The family drove through the desert in total silence, it was very uncomfortable. The ride back ended when dadís car died. It felt as though something was preventing me from returning to see my dead brother. We boarded a plane home from somewhere in the southwest. I was petrified of the plane crashing, but we made it home safe and sound. We were safe, but David was gone.
It was eerie attending my brotherís funeral. I have a vivid memory of asking my dad to lift me up to the coffin to give David one last kiss. He did. That was my final goodbye to David, I felt very sad. My grandmother was concerned that I started eating more after Davidís death and started to gain weight. My mom was totally distraught after her sonís passing and she was obsessed with protecting Don and me. Over the next couple of years she was always making sure we had enough to eat and of course I wanted to make my mother happy. By the time I was eight, I was one chubby little girl.
We eventually got on with our lives, but I noticed that people were starting to treat me differently. There was a very mean school teacher who was quick to punish me if I stepped out of line. One time I had misbehaved she made me put my desk in the closet and sit all alone in the dark. After that incident, my mom became very angry with the whole school, she protested everything and was at odds with every teacher I had. My time at Suffield Elementary School in Mogadore, Ohio wasnít easy. It certainly didnít prepare me for my experiences at The Chapel Hill Christian School. That is where I had my very first sexual encounter. But before I would enroll at Chapel Hill, another tragedy would befall the Markley family. And it nearly killed meÖÖ